Diary: A week after the Civil Services 2012 result

Its been a week since the declaration of Civil Services 2012 Final results and lot of water under the bridge. This week has been really tough and unbearable for me. I gave it my all to this exam and still lost the race to the Holy Grail of Indian administration. I was hoping to win this quest of Gold but now i have to live with the less precious Silvery Job. 

I seriously started preparing for Civil Services in 2011 when i was 28, before that i was only romancing with the idea. Perhaps this was the most blunderous decision i have ever taken. The right time to prepare for Civil Services is always in early 20s but i have had my own problems and responsibilities and could not afford to quit the job that gave so much hope and prosperity to my siblings, mother, grandparents, wife and my little kid. To continuing working in ever demanding IT Job (and in a company like mine) along with preparing for Civil Services is perhaps the most arduous and difficult Job. I have spent almost all the weekends, mornings, late evenings and half of my hair preparing for this Job. I thoroughly enjoyed the journey and in the end also succeeded in clearing the most coveted exam of India but the dream of becoming a District Magistrate remains a dream. I can not write this exam again although this was my second attempt as i have crossed 30 year age limit so my dream will always remain with me and die with me like a genetic defect. 

I am waiting for the Service Allocation to happen, generally it happens in late July (or early August) and now my best bet is to get Indian Revenue Service/IP&TAFS/IA&AS. Whatever i get, i will be responsible for maintaining the integrity of the financial system of India or collecting taxes for the People of India and if God helps me i can rise to the very top of my potential field/ministry/department. I can only hope for it. Amen.